8 ways to establish deep wellbeing in the new year.
In the next two weeks I’m going to continue my practice of writing articles on topics related to dharma, healing, wellness, recovery and spiritual practice.
As we move into the new year, I’m going to share 8 “causes” of well-being. These 8 steps are arranged in a hierarchy. The first supports the second, etc..
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The notion that things arise from their causes comes from Buddhism. Typically in Buddhism we hear a lot about what causes suffering and are interested in identifying and removing those causes. Here, for the next two weeks, I’m flipping that idea on its head to explore what the causes of wellbeing are. This is the model I use to help people establish and maintain a conscious and deliberate wellness model. It begins with…
Vision and Intention.
One of the powerful assertions of Buddhist practice is an encouragement to be aware that our time on the planet is limited. One Buddhist reflection goes…
“Death is certain!
The time of death is uncertain!
Knowing this, how do you live your life?“
When we reflect in this way, we might begin to contemplate what really matters to us. Death can seem abstract. But the clock is ticking. You do not have all the time in the world. So the encouragement is to reflect and get very clear about what you’re doing with your time on the planet. What dreams do you have? What ideas do you need to bring into fruition? What needs to happen between now and the end of your life, so that you can look back on your life and feel like you lived it right? This could be the most important reflection of your life.
For the purpose of this article I’m gonna suggest you contemplate this in three ways.
What are you doing with your time on the planet?
Writer, Zig Ziglar used to ask his audiences if they were “wandering generalities” or “meaningful specifics”. He noted that most people were living unconsciously. They were not heading anywhere deliberate but were pushed around by outside forces without a sense of purpose or agency.
I think it’s good to have a vision for your life. I think it’s good to follow through on accomplishing your goals. I think the structure that arises around intentional living is essential to human wellbeing. When I don’t have structure and meaning in my own life, I get depressed very quickly. So whether it’s recording an album, getting a degree, raising a family or some spiritual or healing pursuit, I think purpose, intention and structure are critical to wellbeing.
3 things or less!
I have a rule for this. You only get 3 pursuits, or less, at a time. To be truly focused, effective and to avoid being spread too thin, you have to make choices, let things go and focus. You can’t do it all at once.
Of course you need to go to the dmv and exercise and get the kids to school. Those things are given. For the purpose of this model, I distinguish the stuff of daily life from these long term, intentional pursuits.
As I live life, I find myself editing more deeply. Here’s the thing. The people I have known in my life to be the most present, successful and focused don’t do 3 things. They do 1 thing. This is why I suggest 3 things OR LESS. I know it’s somewhat arbitrary, but generally speaking I have found that 4 pursuits are too many. 3 is somewhat more manageable. 2 is better. 1 is best.
All of this depends on the reality of your life and your personality and all kinds of other things. But I think there’s an essential truth. Anything worth doing in the long term (raising a family, losing weight, healing, artistic pursuits, saving for retirement, getting a degree) requires making clear choices, investing time and energy consistently over the long term. The more we have going on the less likely we are to follow through and the more likely we are to get burnt out and quit. Less is more.
What are your commitments to others?
Here, I’m mostly thinking about ethical commitments. What kind of person do you want to be? For me, Buddhist precepts have been helpful in framing my commitments to others. Setting personal boundaries on speech, sexuality, stealing, physical violence and intoxication have been very helpful. But Buddhism isn’t the only framework. What does it mean to be a citizen in a representative democracy? What does it mean to be the head of a family or an employer? I think setting clear intentions for your interpersonal life is a huge part of being well. It’s an esteem-able act to live ethically and it is hard to live well when you’re causing harm.
What are your commitments to yourself?
It’s important not just to
consider others but also to consider your commitments to yourself. What boundaries do you have as a person? Do you lean into or avoid conflict? Do you speak your truth or allow people to coherse you into silence? Do you take risks? Walk the road less travelled? Do you come out of the closet in every situation? What about taking full responsibility for your life? Rejecting victimhood? What does your heart need? What do you need to do in this life that only you can provide to yourself? Those are the kinds of commitments I encourage people to contemplate.
I’m these 3 ways, we live intentional and ethical lives, we accept responsibility for ourselves and live with self possession and agency. This is a solid foundation for wellbeing.
Tomorrow:
Should we live with urgency? Should we take our time?
Or both?