Sympathetic Joy

By Pablo Das (HHC, SEP)

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Over the last few days I’ve been non-explicitly walking through a set of teachings from Buddhism called the Brahma viharas. They are a group of what are thought of as heart-oriented practices. The thought is that if we cultivate these qualities in ourselves then they are there available as motivations for speech and action as we move through the world and encounter the wide range of what life has to offer.

The Brahma Viharas contain four practices, two of which I’ve already written about (kindness and compassion), the one I’m highlighting tomorrow (interpersonal equanimity) and today’s topic, sympathetic joy. One way I like to think of them is part of being responsive. They serve as filters through which we temper and color our speech and action. They are, in a way, philosophical stances we take in life when we decide we want to be a good person.

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Kindness is a word that actually describes a number of different qualities. Generosity, acceptance, patience, friendliness and presence are some of the qualities that characterize kindness when you see it in the world. Compassion is what kindness morphs into when it encounters suffering and pain. Sympathetic joy is what kindness morphs into when it encounters other peoples success and happiness.

The great Morrissey has a song called “We Hate it When our Friends Become Successful”. It’s a funny thing about humans that we think about ourselves in relationship to other people’s success. We compare. As a result we generate all kinds of suffering for ourselves and for others as that jealousy bleeds out in the way we treat others. It isworth looking at the issue.

So we can understand kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and interpersonal equanimity as ways of countering self generated suffering. In the case of sympathetic joy, the suffering we are countering is that of envy or jealousy. When practiced formally in meditation, sympathetic Joy involves a recitation of phrases meant to help cultivate the quality. It works by bringing to mind somebody who is experiencing happiness and wellbeing and wishing for more of that in their life. It’s a way of counteracting a human tendency to either think of yourself or to think ill of somebody who is successful.

In practical terms, it can be used in a simple way. We draw a line in the sand with intention. We decide not to indulge jealousy and strive to respond to those impulses in ourselves by wishing people more happiness and success. It’s a practice of crowding out or countering thoughts that lead to suffering and filling the internal talk space of our minds with that which supports wellbeing.

Next time you feel jealousy, envy or judgement about the successful people in the world, try practicing wishing them enduring happiness.