Healing Trauma
What does it mean to be “mindful” of trauma?
By Pablo Das (HHC,SEP)
In the most practical terms, mindfulness can be reduced to two important components; presence and responsiveness.
Presence.
Mindfulness is a specific type of presence. It’s objective in nature. It’s different than ordinary consciousness. It allows us to step back from our experience in real time and notice what’s happening. It’s the difference between “being angry” and being aware that anger is present in you. You’re not captured by experience. There’s a kind of pause built in to the nature of mindfulness which allows you to be responsive rather than unconsciously impulsive and reactive. Mindfulness allows for choice in how you respond.
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Responsiveness:
To respond, rather than react, means to consciously consider what you do and the consequences of what you do under any specific set of circumstances. In a Buddhist context, being “responsive”means that what you do is filtered through an ethical structure which emphasizes kindness and minimizing harm done. Where trauma is concerned, I coach people to consider something else. What is the “empowered”response? I’ve said many times in my articles that the trajectory of healing trauma has to do with moving from helplessness, victimhood and disempowerment towards self possession and agency.
If you put this all together, the practice of being mindful of trauma means, noticing what’s happening, pausing and responding in an empowered way which moves you and those involved in the direction of more happiness and well-being.
Now we get to the trauma part. Trauma impacts people in various ways including compromising emotional regulation capacities, coloring your perception of the world and others, negative self regard and shame, hyper vigilance, addiction impulses, physical health issues and more.
To be “mindful” of trauma is to become objectively aware of the ways trauma manifests in you, tracking the patterns objectively and responding in empowered ways which support wellbeing.
Let’s say you’re a person who goes through periods of anxiety and or depressive states where it’s harder to function. I’ve developed the idea in my own life that there are “thrive days” and “survive days”. In thrive days, I am able to to all the things the normies do. I exercise, eat well, get my work done, go to the dmv, log into my health insurance site, schedule a doctor visit, get groceries, cook and hit a (fill in the blank) zoom meeting. On survive days, a lot of those things feel overwhelming. I have to scale back. I do what’s necessary to get by and what will fortify and support me to get out of the depression. Exercise is essential. Eating the best possible food is essential. Sleep is critical. Contact with the appropriate others and getting my work done. I do not go to the dmv or call AT&T on a survive day. I don’t have hard conversations with loved ones. I try to resist any non-generative numbing impulses (sugar) and I avoid challenging relationships.
Practicing mindfulness with trauma content is advanced work. It involves presence with hard content. It requires what is called “equanimity” or the ability to stay present with experiences that are unpleasant. Equanimity is something we develop in formal meditation practice when we don’t immediately adjust when our foot starts to fall asleep. Instead we get curious about and study discomfort. What’s it like? What impulses arise in relationship to pain? What is it made up of? And then, consciously, we may decide to move the leg.
To be mindful of trauma means that we lean into and accept discomfort, we get curious about what’s actually happening, we understand it as impermanent, we hunker down and wait it out, we resist reactions that cause more suffering and we do what we can in response to give ourselves the resources we need to get through the day.
Here’s the deal…
The suffering in life is not equally distributed. Some of us are burdened with more to manage than others. That’s ok. If we navigate our challenges with dignity and a spirit of generosity and curiosity, we are rewarded. People who accept and take responsibility for what spiritual teacher Ram Dass called your particular “curriculum” for this life are potentially the most sensitive, attuned, compassionate and creative people. We have a particular kind of wisdom and resilience in difficult situations. We know, better than anyone, how to stay calm in crisis situations. Do your healing work with dignity and, over time, you become quite a valuable person to those around you and you develop a deep sense of unapologetic self respect.
Heal on trauma queens!
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Pablo Das is trained as a Buddhist teacher and as a Holistic Wellness coach (HHC). He is a practitioner of Somatic Experiencing (SEP) and is an advocate for a trauma centered, Buddhist approach to recovery from Addiction Patterns.
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